The Monster Inside Me!

I never dreamed one day I would wake up sick, and never get better!

One cold February day in 2011 I woke up, after a work injury and my life was changed forever! (More about that, in life of pain!) 

This was not a good change. There was now a monster inside me! Yes, it was scary. How did this happen? Why did it happen? Why didn’t any test I was put through not show anything? Your guess is as good as mine! 

Would you like to know what this monster looks like? Why not, who wouldn’t. I mean you can imagine it yourself, but let me tell you what I think it looks like. First off it’s a girl. No, I don’t know her name. She never told me, and I never asked. She’s not scary looking, just what she does is scary to me. 

On warm day in fall, I was talking with my therapist June. I liked talking to her, she has helped me cope with this monster so much! Do I still get angry sometimes about this monster? Yes, but that’s understandable. Anyway, June asked me as I was sitting there focusing on my breathing, to picture the monster flying through my body and to tell her what it looked like. She had me draw a picture. 

I described a young girl with long hair, purple sundress, and no feet. She was laughing as she flew through my body attacking it. When I was asked to focus my energy and release the monster, she flew out of my ear and looked at me and smiled and laughed. 

Now you may think I’m crazy, and I very well may be. But I have always been more sensitive to everything. My senses have been more sensitive. I see and hear things that are not there. I envision everything. I can see both sides of most situations. June called it extra sensitive and an extremely special gift. I tend to agree. 

I still dont know this monsters name, but she is still with me as of January 2017. And I still have that drawing of her. I have been told that she isn’t going anywhere soon. I just have to learn to control her mess. It is very hard, she has a lot of power. Once I think I am doing better, she knocks me back down! But I will always get back up, even if takes a while.

This monster has made me get poked and prodded so many times, and I have this little fear of needles. Sad thing is that I am getting used to them, still don’t like them, but I tolerate it. Mainly because I have to. Doctors love to prick people with needles!

I think it’s all a game that my monster likes to play. What is it called? Let’s torture Sunny ! She had thrown a curve ball at me, and I struck out for now. But I will eventually get back up, and attack back! 

Well played monster! Well played!

Why type of monsters do you have?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s