I’m still me…

You say that you understand what I’m going though, I know you think you really do. But when I hear you talk now, I believe you are clueless. It’s not helping much when you listen, but don’t truly hear me.

I tell you I’m in pain, you say “I hurt too, must be the weather”.

I tell you I didn’t sleep well last nigh, you say “shouldn’t have taken that afternoon nap”.

You want to go out, I say “sorry, I’m in too much pain” ; you say “but, you did it yesterday”; I say “that’s why I can’t today”.

When I lay awake all night and you tell me that I should be sleeping, that’s not helpful. You say I should get out more and walk, instead of sitting in my chair. You say I’m not the person I used to be. You’re right, I’m not the same, my pain has changed me so much, and it won’t let go.

There isn’t much you can really do. All i really need is your understanding and acceptance. I know you can’t really see it, but I really am sick. My body goes through hell everyday. If you really knew me, you’d know that I’m not one to say “I can’t”, and this isn’t what I wanted.

Every day is different for me, some days won’t be that bad, but my body is constantly at war. If you really want to help me, educate yourself on my condition before you comment on it. Show me that you really understand.

All i ask is that you believe me when I tell you how miserable I am. Stop trying to make me prove how sick I really am. You tell me that I have changed, but you have changed as well because you refuse to truly see me and understand my new life.

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