Writing to you…

Writing is hard, I often thought ”could I write a book or blog”. My brain is often full of ideas as I am always trying to find things to do. I like to write things down as I can never remember anything.

I also like to write the stories I post here, it helps a lot when you need to say something about life but talking hurts why too much with a paralyzed vocal cord.

I don’t post everything I write out as sometimes it is only written to get it off my mind and I feel better. There are times where I am so annoyed with it all that I Write it all out and then delete it in a few days.

I used to have a ton of ideas or words to write, but inspiration doesn’t hit as often anymore. Words are hard, for real! My brain is in a fog these days and I can’t remember the technical words or the right way  to word  things. I make a lot of spelling errors, and proofreading is not a strong skill with me.

I always say these days that as long as you can tell what I mean, it doesn’t matter if there are errors. Anything I write will never be great, but that is okay with me.

I have always wondered how all the writers in the world can make up everything they write and how do people not run out of ideas? But then I can create a whole alertnate world in my mind, but would never be able to put it into words. I listen to a lot of books and the authors go into so much detail, it is amazing! I get lost in my books and see them playing out in my mind. I often get sad when a book series ends as I am losing my friends that I loved to hear about. But, then I get the fun of getting to know other people and their worlds!

I do have a vivid imagination, as I writing this on my I-pad, in my mind I am in a cabin by the lake typing on a typewriter or in a tree house watching the sky and asI think or talk, the words get written down by themselves. It makes life more fun to have a great imagination, just don’t forget about the real world out there, lol!

I get confused by words sometimes. For example, the book will read “He hanged himself” and I would say “why can’t you write “He hung himself””? So many phrases and words confuse me and some people would think that I have never learned anything about the English language or writing even though I have, but brain fog and confusion has ruined all that.

A while back I had so many ideas written out and I posted them all too quickly and now the gaps in between inspiration gets longer and longer. It’s is not that I have to post often, but I don’t like huge time gaps in there for some reason. I think that is why I get burnt out and quit doing social media and things like that, because I convince myself that I have to do a certain amount of stuff with it all and it gets to be too much for me to deal with and then I just disappear for a while. Some things are gone forever at that point, and something I go back to occasionally.

I don’t really know if there was any purpose in writing this all to you, except to maybe say that I am not good at words, but It’s done and maybe you enjoyed it. In my mind I enjoyed writing to you and I slid the paper from the typewriter and threw it in the air and it soared away to you! Also the other side of my brain, I  just walked this out to the mailboxes and mailed it to you! Anyway you want to look at it, it’s all good in my neighborhood!

Incase you didn’t notice a trend with these stories, I like to end with a question or two. So these are my questions, it is your turn to talk! I hope that wherever you are, that you are having a most excellent day!

Is there something like this that you enjoy? Do you tend to get too wrapped up in things that you get burnt out?

Do you ever type lol or a laughing emoji and not laugh? I do that a lot! I find whatever I see or read/hears funny, but you couldn’t tell by looking at me! Ha ha ha!

P.S. I love the chocolate!

Nobody knows…

These four walls closing more everyday and I’m dying inside and nobody knows it but me…

The pain is real even if nobody knows and I’m crying inside and nobody knows it but me…

I’m missing me and nobody knows it but me…

Nobody knows the pain that I feel!

The nights are long and the days are so sad, and nobody knows it but me…

Nobody will ever know the true feelings inside my head. They will never know the pain and torture living in my head. I wish I didn’t know about it either. Living with an invisible chronic illness doesn’t help things at all. It is a very hard life and I don’t wish it on anyone!

You try and get out of your head, but it is just so very very hard to do! Creating and craftiness helps distract me from it all. Listening to books and music is also very helpful, but at some point it all catches up with you and knocks you down.

We shouldn’t be made to feel bad about all of this. I say embrace it, let it out, scream, cry, break things if needed! Visiting these feelings and letting them out can be very good for you. It is okay to not be okay, let yourself deal with it. It is okay to visit and deal with it, just don’t unpack and live there. You need to find a way to deal with it all, find something that helps make you happy.

Never apologize for feeling hurt and sad, it is all part of being human. Never apologize for being you, for being real, it’s like apologizing for being human and that isn’t cool or necessary!

People hate for no reason and it’s becoming too easy and normal to do! I say let’s love for no reason! Less hate & more love!

You are beautiful, worth it, amazing and someone is happy just knowing that you exist! When you’re out doing life things, take the time to smile, wave or even say hi to someone, you never know it could just be the reason that they keep going in this life we live!

Nobody knows the horror that is in our heads, but maybe, just maybe it is time that people learn what is like, then possibly we could all learn to deal with it and help each other out and be a little bit happier!

How does creativity help you?

Creativity helps keep you busy and distract you from health & life challenges!

I have always been creative! I love designing and creating things! Even when I was working I would on down time if I had access to things, I would create storage and helpful things out of cardboard to keep my work area clean!

I get bored very easily if I am not doing things that keep me thinking and busy! I hated having a job where I had to do the same thing over and over every day! The most fun I have had was working at a plastic injecting molding factory, it was different every night, so much fun! Being creative and thinking creatively is a lot of fun and helpful to forget other things, like health issues and not being able to work!

Creativity and organizing are my things I love to do!I have always loved crafting and have had a few things like a cricut and paper crafts for years but never used them to their full potential! I would always plan a craft for when my nieces & nephews came over, it was fun finding new things to make and getting everything all set up! When my health challenges made it so I couldn’t work anymore, I started to craft more! My creativity has expanded so much, I love finding inspiration and creating things. I love designing and creating everything from jewelry, storage items to cards and other paper items! I get lost in creating things that my mind isn’t so focused on what my body won’t allow me to do and all the pain!

I enjoy listening to music & audiobooks while letting my creativity fly! I always need something to do or I will get too bored and end of sleeping a lot, but then I can’t sleep much anyway! If I am not actually making or designing things, then I am finding new ways to organize everything and make it all flow better! Some days I can’t do much because of the pain and such so then I am searching for more inspiration, designing cards, calendars and anything really! I has a slight obsession with binders and am always creating them for anything as you know everything has to be organized and neat in my world!

Audiobooks are a great distraction as well as while listening you can imagine it all in your mind, kind of like watching it like a movie! But really this is about creativity! Creativity also helps make money when you share your creations with the world through an online shop!

Ahhh creativity, such a helpful & fun skill to have! The only thing wrong with getting lost in all the creative fun is forgetting to eat food to have strength & energy to continue!

Are you creative? Does it help you in anyway?